The Fist Day

The new year is always filled with broken promises, regrets, desires, and an overall need to prove oneself in the brand new chapter of life.

I am one of those people. And my motto for the new year is
STRIVE.
It’s just one word. But for me, behind that one word is hope and courage, strength and yearning, support and love, and above all that nagging sentiment to do better.

It’s not an easy way to start the new year, and as I lay in my bed thinking about this exact sentiment, something occurred to me: I am in control of this year. In my life, how I approach this year, is up to me. How I view this year is up to me. How this year goes for me personally is up to me.

Now you may say: But there are things beyond your control! You can control everything that happens to you!

No, I can’t.  But that’s not what I’m trying to control. That’s not what I’m striving for. I am striving for acceptance, faith, love, generosity, courage, determination, and learning within myself. I cannot get those things or expect those things from others if I do not do it for myself first.

And while this all my sounds cheesy and cliche, it clicked in my brain that I am in complete control over even the most basic of reactions and actions.

You can boil this all down very simply into: I just realized that I have control over whether to eat the donut or not. I do. And that is a little scary. No one to look to, no one to blame when things go sideways. Just me. And a donut. Staring into the new year, both unsure, both determined.

I started simply today. I washed my face this morning. Not the usual wipe it with toner on a cotton pad sort of clean either. I did a mask and drank a tea and perused Instagram and washed my face. It didn’t take long at all. I also ate a healthy breakfast, something I haven’t done is weeks. And I promised myself I would do yoga today. I also promised myself I would figure out how to live stream and get some sort of video up today, and I did. And then the day went by and night came and I was tired and I looked at the clock. 10:30. So I put down my knitting and did yoga. (I even dragged Ty into it).

And I feel great. I could not be happier with myself. I was in control of if I did yoga or not today. And I did it. Even if it was late. Even if I didn’t want to at the end of the day, I did it.

Tomorrow is a new day. And a Monday  (ooooo) and who knows, maybe I will fail tomorrow. But I want to succeed. And my success depends on me. My choices effect how this year will turn out.

All that being said, I am setting monthly goals for myself. This month’s goal is to:

Drink 2L of water a day

More fruit and vegetables, less chips and dip

Yoga every day

Be more interactive and attentive with Ty and Ella.

It’s a new year. Let it nag you a little.  Even if you say that today you will wiggle your toes 25 times today, do it. Move on to your feet tomorrow. This year depends on you and me and all of us. Be kind. Have courage. And have fun. That’s ultimately what this crazy thing called life is all about.

Caitlynne

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